Whenever you place a sticker, create a Treasure token. If it's an art sticker, instead create two Treasure tokens. (They're artifacts with “{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.”)
Once he'd worked out which end of the thing the paint came from, he was promoted to shirt duty.
NM-Mint Foil - $0.50
Lightly Played Foil - $0.45
Moderately Played Foil - $0.40
Heavily Played Foil - $0.35
Damaged Foil - $0.25
NM-Mint Foil Non English - $0.50
Lightly Played Foil Non English - $0.45
Moderately Played Foil Non English - $0.40
Heavily Played Foil Non English - $0.35
Damaged Foil Non English - $0.25